Discussion Text

BEING YOUNG MARRIED COUPLE

Do you ever think when you will get married? Or have you ever thought getting married in young age? Most of people have decided when they will get married, but who knows what happen in the future. Many young people decide that they will get married after the graduation from the college or after they get a job and ready for getting married. However, other people think that getting married does not depend on how old you are. These are the reasons why people choose to postpone getting married and why other people choose being young married couple.

Getting married is not as simple as it seems; It is not only about the celebration of marriage or only about getting many gifts from relations. There are so many considerations in building a relationship, especially with someone who will be a partner of life. For young people, it is not easy to keep a relationship in the same age. Usually both of them have the same condition of emotional. It will be hard for them to find a solution of the problem. Based on Jasmine Gray in her sites, www.lovelyish.com, there are 6 reasons not to marry young. First, it is already hard to find someone who is mature and will fully commit to you without adding being young as a factor. In building a relationship, we need someone who is able to commit and who is serious to keep the relationship well.

The next reason why some people choose to postpone getting married earlier is to avoid having regrets after the marriage. Usually young people still want to have fun with their family or their friends, but it is hard for the people who have gotten married spend time for not important thing. As a young, people will be easy to regret the thing that have chosen before. Unfortunately, the marriage is not an easy thing to regret of. The third reason is to wait until the financial is stable. Waiting until get older  and the perfect time make people have more time to save and situate themselves into a career. Next reason is to avoid the divorce. By marrying young, people have higher failure than the older one because usually they have difficulty to keep the emotional well. The fifth reason postpone the marriage is having more time to explore the options. It means people have more time to choose someone who will be their partner, on the other hand, young married couple lose their time in finding the best partner of their life. The last reason is marriage brings a lot of responsibilities and hard work. People who get married in young age cannot spend time for having fun, while we have to use the opportunity of being young that will not come twice in our live.

Marriage is an important thing which has to happen in someone’s life, but it does not mean that it has to happen as soon as possible. It is better to wait until you are ready enough to build a relationship. It can avoid some disasters that might happen after the marriage. Author and sociologist, Andrew Cherlin of Johns Hopkins University, says ”People are more concerned with their own self –development than they used to be. Therefore, people are postponing marriage until everything in their lives is working ‘in order’. The order means after you have finished your education, perhaps after beginning your career. They are postponing marriage until they think they are ready for it”  (in book: The Marriage-Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family in America Today). Kay Moffett, an author, says,” Many couples who marry too early have not achieved a fully formed self, because of this I advise couples to wait until they are in their late 20s to marry. This allows for a period of identity exploration and a time to figure one’s self out” (in book: Not Your Mother’s divorce: A Practical Guide to Surviving the End of a Young Marriage). It means that waiting for having enough preparation for getting married determine the quality of marriage.

People who get married earlier must have considered the risk which may be happen, that is why they are brave to marry in young age. They think that the most important of getting married is not the age, but the maturity and the commitment. People who get married in young age have different advantage than the people who choose getting married in last 20s. According to Focus on the Family (FOF) show, marriage is a formative relationship; it form us, it molds us, it makes us into more mature, better, and selfless beings. The marriage that happens to people in young age also transform and change them, they will be more responsible than before. It differentiates them from someone else in the same age who still lives with parent or does not get married yet. By getting married someone can avoid having sex before marriage. In some custom, especially for muslim, having sex before marriage is a big sin. By getting married earlier, a couple has more time for preparing their baby born, also they have more opportunities in preparing their children’s future by working or saving money.

On the other hand, there are some people who choose getting married earlier. There must be have some reasons why some people decide to start a family in young age. Perhaps, they think that why we have to postpone the marriage if we have been ready for every risk even though we are still young.

Jamie Balbet, someone who decided to get marry when she was 19 and her husband was 21, explained

seven reasons why she chose getting married earlier in her sites, www.youngwifesguide.com. She wrote that the first reason is having energy, it means in the young age when she has gotten children they have

more energy for raising children. They have more time for playing with them without really feeling exhausted. The second one is the designing of God for having babies in 20s. This statement means that optimum fertility is reached in 20′s and starts to decline in 30 and beyond.

Next reason why people choose getting married earlier is that being young grandparents. By being young grandparents, people have time together to enjoy the family. In the next reason Jamie says that money is not everything. Jamie means that some people postpone getting marriage until they have enough money for building a family, but she explains that no need a huge house or plenty of money for

making the family be happy. She does not want to make the children be spoiled, and she just believed that God provides for our needs. Fifth reason  is doing career at home. Jamie thought that basically a woman is working at home beside doing a job outside. The next reason for her is excited in having kids. She wants to have kids earlier, she could not be patient waiting for getting older to play with her own kids, do vocation and others. As the last reason is waiting for children who are blessing from God.

In conclusion,  Getting married earlier or later depends on the people who do that.  As a human, we have to respect of every decision that other people choose. Even though marriages are able to make young people be more mature in young age, it is better to  postpone marriage until being a real mature person. Being mature in building a relationship is very important. It helps the couple in finding the solution to avoid the divorced. Making sure that we have been ready in every aspect of live also determine the quality of the marriage. It consists of having job before getting married, keeps the emotional well and being a responsible person to face the risk that might happen. For me, I prefer to postpone getting married until I feel that I am ready enough in every aspect of my life. I  just think that people who get married In young age, usually only think about love than the other things that they should prepare more. So, it is better to ask our heart and our mind before we decide to be young married couple.